lifeless-ness ...

whoa ...
SUPER long since i update my blog ...

i have been quite lifeless lately ...
living between work ... sickness ... unhappiness ...

i always try to find somethings happy out of all the unhappiness and
thank God ...
i've managed to go till so far =)


i got a lot of pics from edwinn ... i'll upload and caption it one by one ... k?

but not now ... coz my sis wanna use com for her assignments ....

puked ^3

ok ... is a few days post again ...

my stoning continued ... all the way till now ...
i dunno when will all these end ...
but i sure hope it ends soon ...

wed ...

noon ... happy moment after mc d ^^ seriously brighten up my day ...

i got 2 free movie tix at times square ...
nobody teman me watch ... finally reno offered =)
went there .. only cicakman & happy feet showing at 7pm ...
since i watched happy feet twice ... i choosed cicakman ....
it was a BLOODY STUPID show ...
seriously BLOODY stupid ....
halfway through out the show we went out... beh ta han ...

bought laptop bag for sis with reno =)
then we walk around and walk around ...
then a friend fetched me home ... happy that someone cared for me enough to fetch me home ^^

the next day ...
mood whole day was UP ...
coz got some "words" from shu wei + some truth the day before =)

dept lunch during lunch time ... at donyaku ...
enjoyed it with all cockroaches and bosses ...
after that they suggested dessert at secret receipie ... service was BAD ...
but i still ate quite a lot happily =)

then ... after work ...
kaimin bring me go some hong kong restaurant eat ...
i start feeling sick on the way .. but just kept quiet to not spoil his mood ...

sat down ... ordered cheese bake rice ... kaimin ordered some mee ...
ate less than half ... and i started to feel like puking ... SHIT ...

can't finish my food [of coz] ... went into the car ... feel super not right ...
ppl start callng me bout the maison's plan at night ...
i insist on goin even though kaimin say i'm crazy ...
can't hold any longer ...
PUKED ... inside a plastic bag =) ^^lucky kaimin's car^^

finally reach home ... called for help .. if he din come .. i really dunno wat to do ...
friend's calls still coming in asking bout maison ...
i still feel like going SO MUCH ...
but was stopped by everybody that sees my condition ...
so i had to break the news to ppl ...

i'm SOOOOO SORRY ~~~

haih ... still wished i went ...

puked another 2 times throughout the night ...

this morning wake up ... cannot tahan ...
decided not to go work ...
called kaimin ... asked him to bring me see doc .. coz i think i need medication ...

he came ... saw doc ... he say it was food poisoning ....
damn those cockroaches .... CONFIRM is them ... hmph ....

went home ... slept ... till now ...

update blog .. with a feeling of emptiness in me ...

my dear friend is also not in good condition ...
wish she will be better ...

i can't help but wonder wat is happening ...

Dear God ... are u trying to tell me something? ...

TAGGED~~

erica tagged me =)
here it goes!


Layer one: On the outside
Name: Tan Ming Kee
Birth date: 6th Feb 1988
Current status: seriously conplicated
Eye colour: Dark brown
Hair colour: Proudly brown
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Aquarius

Layer two: On the inside
Your heritage: proud to be Pure Chinese
Your fears: alone in this world in despair with nobody caring for me [which happens quite often]
Your weaknesses: emo-ness, jealousy ... [i'm not sure ... anybody tell me ... i'll be glad to listen ...] Your perfect pizza: no capsicum, no cucumber, no onion

Layer three: Yesterday, today, tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: should i go to work today?
Your bedtime: around 1-2am
Your most missed memory: the happy times with HIM

Layer four: Your pick
Pepsi or Coke: it taste the same to me
McDonald's or Burger King: they are the same to me too .. hmmm ... McD la
Single or group dates: HAPPY dates
Adidas or Nike: same to me again
Lipton tea or Nestea: con someone tell me the difference?
Chocolate or vanilla: depends on my mood =)
Cappuccino or coffee: i don't drink coffee

Layer five:
Do youSmoke: NO
Curse: Erm ....

Layer six: In the past month
Drank alcohol: Yupp
Gone to the mall: Yupp
Been on stage: i'm ALL THE WHILE on the stage of life
Eaten sushi: Yesterday ... and food poisoning after that .. .ARGH!
Dyed your hair: Yupp

Layer seven: Have you ever?
Played a stripping game: Erm ...
Changed who you were to fit in: i'm not sure ...

Layer eight
Age you're hoping to be married: 20++

Layer nine: In a girl/guy
Best eye colour: i prefer to look at his heart colour ...
Best hair colour: i prefer to look at his mind colour ...
Short or long hair: i prefer to know he wants the relationship to be short or long

Layer ten: What were you doing
1 minute ago: the tag?
1 hour ago: Sleeping
4.5 hours ago: At the clinic?
1 month ago: Studying for exams?
1 year ago: Erm ... forgot ...

Layer eleven: Finish the sentence
I love: to be cared ...
I feel: Tired ... Tired of my life ...
I hate: it when ppl leave me in despair ...
I hide: everything i dun want ppl to know ...
I miss: your care ...
I need: all my friends and U ...

stoning and stoning

nothing much happened these few days ...
or maybe its that my mind is too busy to realise things going on around me ...

got my result today ...
it SUX big time ...
please dun ask ... thx ...

i'm still in the "stoning" mode ...
stone everywhere i go ...
especially at work ...

ok la now i try to recalled wat happened ...
basically i went out everynight ...
but i really dunno wat i'm doin around coz ... i dunno ...

i feel lifeless ... i'm leaning on my friends for support ...
once they are gone ... i can feel myself breaking down ...

went fun fair one of the day ...
took away moon's "first time" of sitting a temporary fun fair game =)
i can't really rmb the feeling up there ... was abit terrifying .. but i just stonned the whole ride ...

i dun like the HUGE JAM everymorning ...
the HUGE HUMAN JAM ...
iits like fighting to get into monorail ...
fighting to get into lrt ... its so stressful ...

life IS stressful ...
to a point that stress overwhelmed me and i can feel it on me so heavy that i'm suffocated ...

but don't u all worry ...
i'll hang on ...
till the very last minute .. when God decides i'm ready for afterlife ...
i promise =)

jusco + asia cafe

friday was an unusually eventful working day for me ...
sneezing & blowing my nose non stop in office ...

after work ... went to jusco with my sis and bought some stuffs ...

i keep trying on hair bands and caps i dunno why ...

can't name everything i bought ... coz can't really rmb ...
after that i'm suppose to meet up with moon dude and alan for drink ...
but due to some unforseeable circumstances ... it was cancelled ...

however ... something even more UNEXPECTED happened ...
i'm not going to blog bout the whole matter but i just would like to say ...

there are choices in life we MUST make ...
we CANNOT have it ALL ...
sacrifice is a must to a happy life ...

rmb wat i explained to u bout 四舍五入 ?

ok ...

to put the stupid things aside ...
went asia cafe ytr night =)
for a drink and makan ...

jungkuan, chengyu and another guy i can't rmb the name but it sounded like bar-ney reach first ...
even before us ...
so when me and mhui reach ... we went to find them =)

ordered millenium chicken rice ...
i damn hungry but just dun feel like eating ...

after food ... we chat and camwhored =)

:: me & jungkuan ::
he seriously look like jean ...

he warned me not to put on my blog ... but i can't resist ...
so i just put two la ... k? ^^

jungkuan say i changed a lot ..
from a good girl become a "naughty" girl ...
he say coz i DYED my hair ...

jiajin joined us after that ...

:: meihui & jiajin ::

:: jiajin & me ::

then shuwei and derrick reached and i went to chat with them ...

then jungkuan called me to play foosbal ... and i kena trash KAO KAO ...
they [jungkuan chengyu & "bar-ney"] went back first ...

then dude and allan came FINALLY ...

:: me & dude ::

nothing much happened after that ...

we just played pool then went home bout 3sth ...

counting my blessings

its been a long itm since i update my blog with decent post ...

in this post ... i'm goin to count my blessings as inspired by my dear friend lengzai wey...

i know its quite hard for me to count my blessings at this time since my heart is full of hatred and rage ...
but i sitll wanna do it to show that God AlMighty can help me control all my emotions ...

i wanna thank God .. for letting me live till today ...
letting me know Jesus as my Saviour ...
letting me go through all the challenges i have to face to be prepared for after life ...
letting me see how bad things can be before letting me see the thing i'm going to get ...

i wanna thank God for giving me friends that care for me ...

dearest pang han, kai min, reno and also my gan fu - dude =)

my ex classmates:
xien, kendrick, jona, eric, nuogeng ...
although u all always shoot me .. but i still like laming with u all =)
not to forget kevin, sooktheng, peivoon, siewling ... and to those i missed out .. sorry ...

NOT TO FORGET ...
my baobeis :: moon & meihui =) -- love u all damn lots ...

and my family ...
i know i always complain and raise hatred at them ...
but i still love them ... myMUM and mySIS =)

next my house ... my room ...
thank God for giving me a shelter ...
to live in ... a bed to sleep in ...

my bag .. my accessories . my clothes .. my food ...
and everything i own ... THANK GOD ...

last but not least ...
the relationship i had ... each and every relationship i learnt something ...

all sad and happy things also i will treasure ... up and down i will learn from it ...


and i'll always rmb :

God promises a safe landing ... not a calm passage ...

Amen

unhappy

i'm SERIOUSLY unhappy ...

i dunno y but i'm unhappy ...
feel damn unwanted .. like nobody bothers to talk me ...
i know ... those of u who called me and chatted with me ...
but .. i still feel damn no life ...
i dunno wat is happening to me ... just feel damn down and unhappy ....
somebody please bring me out of this pain .. i need a break ...

i seriously need a break ...

argh

i am living a live that is totally NOT mine !!~~

I WANNA LIVE A LIFE THAT IS MINE!!!~~

with my emotions controlled by MYself ...
and my activities decide by MYself ...

ARGH~~

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/britneyspears/myonlywishthisyear.html

julie's birthday

was working both days sat & sun ...

our roadshow is located at a damn "ulu" place ...
and u can guess wat happened to the sales la ...

after work on sat nite .. went to julie's party @ maison AGAIN ...
didn't stop long coz iw as damn DAMN damn tired plus somebody is emo ...
no ... actually most of us were emo ...
something unhappy happened before we go ...
to all that emo-ed ... SORRY ...
forget the bad things and just rmb the happy parts ... k?

:: happy birthday JULIE =) ::
this is the only pic i have with u on that day for now
stayed there bout 1hr plus then edwinn fetch me home ...
took DAMN LOTS pics ... but none of then is with me ... will upload when i get it ...

and today ...

i just don't like office jobs ...
sitting at a same place for a long time makes me feel like sleeping ...
i wonder wat shoud i do after i graduate .. i really can't do office jobs la ...

someone recomend me some job that is interesting enough to keep me working la ...
otherwise i'll just find a rich guy and get married and live happily ever after =)

take passport + maison

went to take passport ytr ...
it took me less than 1 hour to get my new passport
with a MUCH prettier face of mine =)

initial plan was movie with baobeis after that ...
but since i too tired and some other reasons ... plan OFF d ...

and i DROVE HOME ...
all the way from subang airport to my house
WITHOUT BANGING into anything =) **bangga**

went home ... continued my beauty sleep to prepare for tonight maison again ...
bout 7 sth .. i woke up ...
heard BIG changes in plan ...

FEW friends ffk-ed and transport problem and all ...
ended up i get the feeling that ONLY ME and MOON going ...

depressed ... we still go ...

on the way there ..
edwinn called .. he say he at my house downstairs ... he pick me to maison now ...
i was like "huh?" ...
rupa rupa-nya he tot nobody fetch us go so he baik hati come fetch us ...
SORRY EDWINN ~~

so i told him to terus come maison .. luckily he never emo at me ... hehe ...
reach there .. dude is there already =)
enjoyed ^^

pics all with edwin ... coz AS USUAL moon's camera no batt ...

then TODAY - FRIDAY =)
morning wake up .. supre sien-ed ...
online ... chat with mhui ...
suddenly ... she is on the way to my house to pick me and moon up for pc fair ^^

on the way there .. me and moon sit behind and camwhore

reach there .. parked ...
then walked pc fair with EVERYBODY's purse empty .. haha ...

then me and moon went to buy tix ...
but kena sabotage by someone then tak jadi buy tix ... haih ...