happy birthday ivan :)

today i took my mum's words into deep thought.

she once told me i face the computer more than i face her, and recently she keep saying that i'm facing the computer more than my textbook, and she ask if its necessary for me to be online so often. and i'll always have excuses for her. download stuffs la, send things to friends la ... yadda yadda yadda ...

but today i realise, i have to admit that yes i did abandon a lot things just because of the computer.

i'd rather sit in front of the computer, chatting, browsing or updating my blog than doing housework.
i'd rather sit in front of the computer, chatting, browsing or updating my blog than doing serious stuffs.
i'd rather sit in front of the computer, chatting, browsing or updating my blog than giving full attention to my mum when she is talking.
i'd rather sit in front of the computer, chatting, browsing or updating my blog than doing things that needs to be done asap.
i'd rather sit in front of the computer, chatting, browsing or updating my blog than replying sms-s.


i wonder why i can give such attention to this monitor when there are so much more important things to be done. if i gave the same amount of attention in lecture before this, i would have scored a lot better in all my exams.

so i keep thinking, and i think i found the reason.

one word, loneliness.

i am an attention seeker, as most of u may have already realise. i need to communicate with ppl to evade the thought that i'm all alone coz i'm afraid of lonliness. thus, this is where the computer comes in.

i get to chat with lots ppl thru this computer.
i get to update blog and let ppl know what i'm thinkning thru this computer.
i get to see whats happening in the world thru this computer.
i get to browse and get connected with stuffs thru this computer.


but now i began to ask myself,
is it necessary to put so much attention on something, that made me neglected a lot of other more important things in life?

i answered a confirmed NO to myself.
but how far can i control myself to not do it? well, i'll just do all i can for it. i don't wanna regret this part of life when i think of it in my older days. there are really so much more things i can do to live my life to the fullest.

but i'm not saying i'll totally 100% ignore my computer. its just that i'll spend lesser time with it, thats all. so if u guys miss me, just leave a comment in this blog of mine so i can see it when i'm online :):):)

p.s. : cbox removed :) with the hope that ppl will leave more track-able and remember-able comments :):)